Wacky-doo Wednesday!!

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Now we know what Christian Bale has been up to lately. At least we've heard the stories. The stories are pretty vague, but the seem to imply, or leave it to the listener to infer, that on the eve of Bale's Bat Man premier bale got in to an argument with his mother and sister. At some point, he may have got worked up and slapped his mother around.

Now for the amount of coverage this story is getting, there is a real dearth of details. For instance we know that Bale was arrested, or maybe only held for questioning. At any rate he had a chat with the cops. The cops didn't think it serious enough to yank him out of the premier, but waited until it was over to take him in.

Now that chat definitely had something to do with his mother - maybe, and perhaps a woman who may or may not be his sister. I say 'may or may not' because when the paparazzi swarmed Bale's mother home, a woman stuck her head out the window and hollered 'shove of this is a family matter'. No one is exactly sure who this woman is. We know that Bale's mom name is Jenny, though!

We also know that the issue (there isn't enough information at this time to call it an 'open case') may have something to do with assault. The assault may have been on Bale's mother, or his 'alleged' sister. Also what constitutes an assault is still open at this time. Bale may have pushed his mom, or merely brushed past her on his way out of the residence. He may have even been a witness to an altercation occurring between his mother and the mystery woman/sister. That would explain the cops' lax attitude in picking Bale up. What can be said with certitude at this time is that there is nothing new to report.

So let's talk about a story that does have some hard facts. It even has an accompanying video. That story would be Natalie Portman's latest cinematic misadventure. It's a 'music video' of epic misproportions, made by her current boyfriend Davendra Banhart, and it's a wacky Bollywood type spoof. So, without further adieu, here it is:

There now, wasn't that a treat! What's more, the reviews are in and they are pretty much unanimous! For instance Gossiprocks poster Revelinginthesane says "WTF?" Brevity is the essence of wit. However Reveling goes on - "I want to say something nice, but there is just nothing that fits the criteria. What a piece of trash." That's kinda harsh, but fellow GR poster Sleuth says - "how friggen embarrassing... I hope she's embarrassed...im embarrassed for her... yeesh". Wow, but what do some of the others say? Marvel says "I kind of laughed my ass off. It was funny. It's supposed to be funny and stupid right? That's what they were aiming for right? " Big M sounds kind of uncertain about that. Sacha Baron Cohen has kind of redefined humour, so no one can be too certain anymore. Taffymoon says - "I liked it, but the music was crap". That's rough, 'cause apart from Ms Portman, the music might have been the best, or least awful part of it. Incognito, with ever a keen eye for the fashion, observes - "His pants are so low, his pubes are showing. GROSS". I'm sure that we might have preferred a glimpse of Nat's short and curlies. Finally GR's resident troll and pest poster Agent Orange says posts a video response:

Orange then goes on to quip - "'It made every Indian critics top 100 list!' & it's still better than Devendra. It was a livelier outing than some of Portman/Hershlag's (or ðèìé äøùìâý in Hebrew) previous ventures, such as "Enzymatic Production of Hydrogen", and my personal favourite "Frontal Lobe Activation During Object Permanence". I especially liked it when she got to the lobe activation. Thank you come again".

Now some of Agent Orange's attempts at humour can come off as desperate as Tom Cruise's attempts to come of straight. Alot of the Big O's commentary requires a little explanation (which is never good in an attempt at humour) - like reference to some papers that Portman had published while in university. Orange may or may not be clear on what is meant by "lobe stimulation", but I'd advise against getting any high hopes about it. Orange does post some interesting links on brainy actresses, which refer to Ms Portman's many cerebral accomplishments:

Most Intelligent Actresses

Beauty & Brains: Celebrity Babes with High IQs - Being a Man - Fanpop

and also this little tidbit on the dishonest and pathetic Sharon Stone:

Digg - Hotties with High IQ's

I don't think that anyone ever bought Sharon Stone's smart routine, 'cause she was just never a good enough actress to pull such a thing off. Unlike Ms Portman, Bollywood rag not withstanding, and hopefully we will soon see her in something more worthy of her talents. Perhaps she could take on a role as a super heroine in a skin tight cat suit??