Modest Objections?

There is more in the news than than professional power junkies jockeying for position. A new study on homelessness is raising some eyebrows. According to Dr. Stephen Hwang in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, over 50% of the homeless are suffering from traumatic head injuries. That raises the possibility that the homeless are on the street because of some kind of disability. Now that further raises the objection that the homeless received their injuries while on the street. The study takes that into account too. Over 70% of the homeless had the injuries prior to winding up on the skids. Now that study took place from 2004 to 2005, and followed 601 men and 303 women.

Well those statistics seem over whelming. They also seem to answer the old "shave and a haircut" retort. So that leaves the unsympathetic with their ultimate fall back objection: the stats are wrong. They have to be wrong, objectors insist, because anecdotal evidence proves other wise.

The anecdotal evidence usually means stories about freeloaders livin' larger at the expense of the gainfully employed. Now that's every tax paying wage earners worst night mare: the homeless strutting around in their fine Italian leather loafers, smoking their Cuban cigars, and getting waited on hand and foot in their cushy homeless shelters "Ma'am, draw my bath - chop, chop!" While the hapless working stiff drags his sorry but home to his meal of beans and wieners, the homeless are dining high off the hog, on donated dainties from up town caters trying to assuage their guilt. While stuffing their faces with caviar and New York prime T bones, they laugh the smug laugh of the homeless. "More Dom Pérignon , bro?"

Naturally you can understand the ire of the middle class over this, if any of this were actually true. We work our asses off, so why shouldn't they. This is touchstone. If these people are basically capable, then would you want any of these street characters working with you, in your office? Would you want them standing bolt still in the middle of your office for an hour or so, or perhaps staring off awkwardly? Would you want them sitting at a desk beside yours, as they became progressively more agitated, until they finally began talking away to themselves in loud animated tones?? As long as it doesn't effect their task performance it should be okay right??

Besides, once we get the homeless off their buts, then we can work on repealing those nasty child labor laws! Child labor has been banned for over 100 years, and what have the results been? - delinquency, drug addiction, crime, and yes even truancy!! In short these so called humanitarian laws have set loose every blight on modern society, from student protests to video games and loud rap music. There should be enough statistic there to keep even the most conscientious bleeding heart occupied. Keep the little buggers busy I say. It's never too soon to learn the value of a dollar, or an honest days work!

More Modest Proposals:

Never let statistics stand in your way when you know that you're right. For instance when stats proved the link between smoking and cancer, the tobacco companies merely denied it! Then they countered by commissioning a study to determine the amount of money early deaths would save the health care system. It's the Social Darwinist argument - if people are stupid enough to smoke, then that's just thinning out the heard. So smoking is actually a socially beneficial form of population control, just like famine and pestilence! True or not, it still doesn't absolve Big Tobacco of their responsibility, based on the two wrongs don't make a right argument.

Tanning Salons tried a different tactic. When the link between tanning beds and cancer was proven, the industry wasn't so crass as to deny it. They fessed up, but went on to say that it was an issue of personal freedom. People have the right to risk death in the attempt to look fit and health. It happens every day!

Now the problems occurs with under aged smokers and tanners. The answer there is merely to turn a blind eye. That kid who wants a package of Players or 15 minutes under the UV lamps might look a little young, but they'll probably look a lot more mature with a cigarette, or after logging a few hours on the tanning beds!