Top Ten Tom Cruise Scary Scientology Moments

Tommy’s alien-and-e-meter-filled antics have made him tabloid gold, and we have L. Ron Hubbard to thank for it. Here, as a show of my appreciation, are the top ten Tom Cruise scary Scientology moments.

10. Tom allegedly brainwashed his adopted children, Connor and Isabella, against their adopted mother Nicole Kidman because she strayed from Scientology.

9. After years of PR miracle-working, Tom replaced his publicist with his Scientology-following sister, Lee Ann DeVette. And then came the couch-jumping.

8. Tommy called Matt Lauer glib for not knowing the history of psychiatry. In Sciento-reality, all psychiatric illnesses come from aliens trapped in our bodies.

7. Scientology bigwig David Miscavige joined Tom and Katie on their honeymoon. Way to dispel those gay rumors.

6. Tom talked Katie into having a “silent birth” so the baby is born into a peaceful environment. No groans, moans, or screams—and no medication, of course.

5. Biographer Andrew Morton wrote that Suri Cruise was artificially inseminated using Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s frozen sperm.

4. Tom enrolled Katie in a Scientology boot camp to rebrainwash the "potential trouble source."

3. Tom said he believes Britney Spears has multiple personality disorder, and he can save her with Scientology.

2. Dr. Drew attributed Tom’s Scientology fanaticism to childhood abuse and neglect. Tom’s lawyers attacked.

1. And last but not least, we have the infamous Scientology recruitment video. If you haven't seen it, check out the hilarious Jerry O'connell spoof.